"An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh"
Will Rogers
I am not sure if I should have laughed or cried at my awful Spanglish as I attempted to teach Cynthia, my Ecuadorian Cocinera, how to cook Americano. It would seem less arrogant to try and prepare meals the Ecuadorian way. However, this is easier said than done when it takes me hours in the grocery store figuring out what everything is. Consequently, the groceries I buy would not suffice for a local recipe since Cynthia needs amongst many things Achote, whatever that is. Perhaps I need to swop out the bright lights and air conditioning of my now habitual Super Mercado and wander down to the local mercado to really find what I need?
"Ever consider what pets must think of us?
I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul - chicken, pork, half a cow.
They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!"
Anne Tyler
Aside from my search for elusive ingredients, my Western culinary skills are viewed suspiciously, judging by the raised eyebrows and the incredulously confused stares from Cynthia. I can't blame her for the skepticism, considering that the other day I couldn't figure out why the green dried beans were not rehydrating when I soaked them in water for hours. Imagine my surprise as my 'kitchen angel' Cynthia picked one up and peeled it revealing a succulent blanco frijole beneath. It has been a cultural culinary interchange of note. Using charades and much patience, we manage to conjure up three squarish meals a day.
"The way you cut your meat reflects the way you live."
Confucius
Not that there haven't been glitches. One particular setback elicited an audible gasp of horror from me which I quickly swallowed into a smile and a quick "no problemo" when I saw my Cocinera's crestfallen face. It had taken two gentleman at the 'Super Mercado' meat section to decipher that I was looking for bbq meat. My inner hunter gatherer beamed when I finally procured a fat slab of carne. Visioning a hunk of rare steak on my plate later, I hauled my big game home. Imagine my dismay as I walked into the kitchen and saw it filleted into thin slices by Cynthia. Shame on me, it didn't take long to figure out this was the most inventive way of tripling the food on your plate. Perhaps it was the excess of life in my Western world that I should be questioning not the girth of my steak.
"Fish, to taste right, must swim three times
- in water, in butter, and in wine."
Polish Proverb
Just as I was pondering my over indulged and well provisioned lifestyle the remarkable matriarch of Monica's family, Dorothy, arrived with a bucket full of squid, large shrimp and several lobsters she had purchased from the fishermen at the beach in town. I quickly dropped all thoughts of food frugality as my iodine starved inner mermaid drooled over the seafood. Dorothy quickly showed me how to pull the 'pluma' from the squid and remove the guts and ink sack. It seemed to be a sin to put the seafood in the freezer when, from my window, I could watch the last of the fishing boats heading back in with their catch of the day. But, this was too much seafood even for my gluttony.
"shrimp is the fruit of the sea"
Bubba, Forest Gump.
I'd had several days of butchering the language and simultaneously clambering up the steep learning curve of homeschool and kitchen escuela when I gratefully accepted Dorothy's kind offer for an expedition to show me the local mercado. It's a local place where the food meets the people. Not the fancy styrofoam plated, cellophane wrapped food that resides in the well lit aisles of my usual shopping haunt. No, this is the place where the food is still animal, vegetable or mineral. Where the person who grew it, caught it or killed it is still hanging out with their goods. 
"Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled
once it smells like what it is."
P.J. O'Rourke
"Ham and eggs - A days work for a chicken;
A lifetime commitment for a pig"
Unknown.
"Keep as near as ever you can to the first sources of supply
—fruits and vegetables."
B.W. Richardson
Granted, the mercado was probably not at its best due to the heavy overnight rain which had turned the streets into mud. But Dorothy is a commanding presence and the parking spot right in front seems to be waiting for us. The little old man with no teeth mutters us a greeting and I realize that this is a well practiced routine and the car will be watched over. I want to be Dorothy when I grow up, tall and elegant, with an emphatic presence, wearing a beautiful gold necklace, she leads me like a rubia lamb into my first dimly lit alleyway.
"The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese."
G.K. Chesterton
Throwing caution to the wind and knowing this would be blog photo heaven I pull out the camera. I barely have time to switch it on before I am invited to taste the cheese from a small glass cabinet. I focus on the white spongy sort of feta looking block that is jabbed towards me on the end of a long knife. Taking a small step forward and a huge leap out of my comfort zone, I pop the queso into my mouth. Willing my gastro juices to zap the innocuous white cube with full acidity, I smile sweetly and ask Dorothy to tell the eager cheesemaker I will be sure to buy some on the way back out. With satisfactory nods all round I am free to squelch forward to the meat cubicle.
"Red meat is not bad for you.
Now blue-green meat, that’s bad for you!"
Tommy Smothers
My steward nods approval at a large section of beef which is still shaped like part of a cow. I nervously ask if she would have them grind it down for me, I need it to look a little less bovine.
"Yeah, where I come from, we eat our sushi cooked—medium rare. And it's made out of a cow."
John Henson
"Of plants tomatoes seemed the most human,
eager and fragile and prone to rot."
John Updike
With every handshake I imagine myself at the kitchen sink neurotically scrubbing the tomato looking fruit I had just bought. Dorothy wisely advises me to choose the firmer fruit and let it ripen then turn it into delicious juice. Wandering further a central courtyard opens up into a huge fish market and my camera shifts into overdrive.
“The crab that walks too far falls into the pot”
Haitian Proverb
I have hit the jackpot of food, this is way better than any western supermarket, this is a 'super duper' market. There is everything I can desire, one shellfish vendor even shows me a pearl from a mussel and a tiny seed from a clam.
"All art is autobiographical;
the pearl is the oyster's autobiography."
Federico Fellini
As I stare at the pearl, the Ecuadorians stare at me, unsure as to why I am so amazed, this is simply life at the mercado. My enthusiasm must have been contagious as some of the vendors are happy to pose for photos along with the fish, I even grow bold enough to ask for smiles in Spanish although I'll never remember the word for that.
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead
- not sick, not wounded - dead."
Woody Allen
With Dorothy as my chaperone, I was able to lose myself amongst the stalls and really absorb the flavors of the place. I love the cultural differences, it's all part of the adventure. Yet, I would never have dared to go to the market alone. Perhaps Dorothy was just sizing up my mettle, but with this choice of produce I fervently hoped to be invited back.
"My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car"
Erma Bombeck
I wondered if the kids would help me unload the bags if I brought them back some corn icecream?
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